More worrying news for the ACoC:
[Church House: Toronto]
[Feast Day of Justin Martyr]
The grim possibility of martyrdom may cast a shadow over the Anglican Church of Canada’s upcoming General Synod 2010, says church communications director the Venerable Eustace Smithely-Jones. “The General Synod will be held in Halifax this year”, says Smithely-Jones, “where I hear there are some absolutely fabulous seafood restaurants. While that aspect of the Synod will be easy to digest, I am afraid that there may be some malcontents who will ask us to swallow some other, and rather unpalatable to Anglicans, fare.”
Smithely-Jones made reference to a possible motion, put forward a member of the House of Laity, which would make it mandatory for members of the Anglican Church of Canada to say at least once in their lifetime that they ‘love Jesus’. “It is only fitting’, said Smithely-Jones, “that such a thing would come to our attention on the anniversary of the martyrdom of Justin. In very real terms, I am afraid that if such a motion were to pass, the vast majority of our paying members would end up, quite literally, dying of embarrassment. It is a real possibility. Imagine the pain of turning a conversation away from the proper white wine to accompany Atlantic salmon, toward some sort of religious declaration about this Jesus person. Then the indignity of doing such a thing in some public setting, such as the Royal Nova Scotia Yacht Squadron. I’m afraid for our people, terribly afraid.”
Ahem.
Egads – what’s next – saying the Grace in public?
“Smithley-Jones” should have been my first clue. ::headdesk::
I think Smithley-Jones is being sarcastic. Yes Christian’s should willing to stand up for Jesus and say that they love him at any time or any place. Making it mandatory that once in your live you must say it is ridiculous.
One Sunday Morning during announcements: Pastor – “Ok, ladies and gentlemen, Synod passed a motion saying we need to say ‘I love Jesus’, so everybody repeat after me….. Thank you. Next, Tuesday’s meeting about incorporating Native Spiritualism into the communion has been changed to Wed.”
Um… Cathy? Click through the link on the word “news”…
Sorry, I don’t know Felix Hominum. Are you telling me that this is a spoof?
Heh – I’m just messin’ with your heads
However, you can blame Joseph, it’s his humour
I love Jesus.
assumptions of the un-initiated.
1. This Jones person is made-up
2. This is a spoof, presumably for the sake of humour.
I guess I lost my sense of humour somewhere between “Jesus isn’t the only way to get to heaven” and “I don’t believe in the crucifixion”. Not to mention my discovery that the ACoC, the church of my baptism was going to hell.
This doesn’t even come close to being funny in my book – primarily because it is so believable.
I have circumstances that “mess with my head” every %-=9(x> day your attempt Peter does not lend itself to your credibility. It’s a freakin hurting world obviously some of us are hurting more than others.
Finally please, please don’t tell me me to lighten up, unless you tell me why!
Sorry you didn’t enjoy the satire Stuck. Unfortunately some of the admins enjoy a lighter satirical moment, make of that what you will.
Title is changed just to make it clear to all and sundry. Sigh.
You certainly had me fooled.
I’m sure I did….lol
We used to say: “It’s better to laugh than to cry.” And if we didn’t know that God is in control we would be crying all the time. Better not to take ourselves too seriously and to realize that even the most determined efforts of the Enemy and his minions cannot harm our Lord and those who belong to Him – reason to laugh, indeed!
I see Peter is back using British Humour again !!!!!!!
You had me fooled as well until Kate told someone click on the News part
Thank you Kate
Well, I can’t take credit for it, only credit for finding it funny and posting a copy here.
The fellow who wrote it isn’t even British!
I thought it was funny
#16 I know, but we won’t hold that against him
Thank you Peter. Now that I have calmed down and see it for what it is, as well as reading ML’s gentle admonishment I feel a little silly. Unfortunately that isn’t anything new. OH well back to the path.
Stuck in Toronto:
And you actually told me once in an email to “lighten Up”? I am calm today and feeling, actually, very much better about being a bit up tight sometimes.
Stuck…… FYI……this is supposed to be somewhat humurous!
have a good one….
i thought this item was superbe Peter, thanks.
Yr welcome guys
If memory serves Gerry I believe I gave you scriptural references for my “lighten up” comment.
One presumes that with all those seafood restaurants, there will be eaters of shrimp amongst the delegates. http://www.gothatesshrimp.com
arrgh – that’s http://www.godhatesshrimp.com, apologies